The Inevitable Return to Work

When I first found out I was pregnant and started arranging maternity leave the thought of 9 months off work seemed like an eternity. I'd always thought that I would be one of those mums that was itching to return to work and ultimately would end up calling short my maternity leave and probably returning around the 3 month mark. So it's somewhat strange to me to find myself halfway through month 9 with my return to work just 3 weeks away.

I've gone through a lot of emotions in the last couple of months concerning returning to work. Anxiety at first over who would look after Lewis and how would we afford childcare. Sadness at the thought of missing my little boy and perhaps missing out on new milestones and developments. Excitement at the thought of spending a whole day speaking to grown ups about grown up things and more confusing to me, jealousy.

Upon my return to work, my husband, Rob, will be having a lot more one on one time with Lewis than I will. Obviously this is great for Lewis and for us as a family, it means we will have less childcare costs and it means Lewis and his Dad will have some great quality time together. Despite knowing all this I'm still jealous. I'm jealous that Rob will likely get to experience firsts that I will miss and I worry that Lewis will love him more than me. Whereas now it's him returning home from work and me filling him in with our funny stories of the day, the tables will be turned and it will be me getting the updates. I know it's irrational to feel like this, and the likelihood is that I will miss out on very little and Lewis will love me just as much as he always has, but still, it's how I feel sometimes.

I've decided to return to work on a part-time basis, 4 days a week. If we won the lottery tomorrow or somehow came into a ridiculous amount of money I would not be coming back. I enjoy my job, I love the people I work with, the work can be challenging and rewarding and it's definitely the sort of career I always thought I would have. However, since Lewis, since becoming a mum, it all seems so insignificant. The work just doesn't seem important anymore. I loathe to identify myself as solely a mother, I've always imagined that I would be a career woman, regardless whether or not I had children, but at this present moment in time, being a mother to Lewis is the most important thing in my life.

I'm sure that once I get back and fully into the swing of things my mindset will start to shift and being a working mum will become my new normal. I'm very lucky in that I have a wonderful group of mum friends, some of who are returning to work in the near future, some that are not returning until next year and some that will be taking on the challenge of being a stay at home mum. This support network has helped me to explore my feelings surrounding returning and being apart from Lewis for extended periods of time. If you are on maternity leave or coming up to maternity leave definitely invest some time in making mum friends, they'll be your saving grace at times.

So there it is, my feelings about returning to work. I'll be sure to update on how things are going once I'm back into the working groove. How did you cope with returning to work? Are you also returning in the near future, how are you feeling about it? I'd love to hear from you.

My Must Have Baby Item - The Dribble Bib

Most people when asked what their must have baby item is would probably talk about their pram, their bouncy chair, a baby sling or some other pretty obvious must have device, and whilst I find all these things useful without a doubt, I'm here to talk about what really matters. It's time to get real, and down to the nitty gritty and talk about dribble, in particular, dribble bibs. Let me tell you I have become quite the connoisseur of the dribble bib. The lowly dribble bib is not just a triangular cut of fabric with which to catch your precious one's fountain of spit but rather a carefully engineered liquid catching and absorbing device. With that said there are those that do them well and then there are those that absolutely suck at it.

Lewis started dribbling from about the age of 2.5-3 months. When I say dribbling I don't mean a cute little blob coming out of his mouth every now and again but rather a constant waterfall of sticky baby mouth goodness. Muslins were no match for his mouthy rivers and so started my epic journey to find the most perfect dribble bib solution in the world. So here it is, my experience summed up to make it easier for all those mum's out there that have their own mini dribble fountain.

Tesco Dribble Bibs

We were given this really cute set as a baby shower present. I love the cute design, anything with dinosaurs on is a win in our house. These bibs have a popper fastener and are really absorbent, having a nice towelling backing on them. However, these were only good for Lewis for about 2 weeks as they are so tiny! I know Lewis is a huge baby but these bibs just did not offer enough coverage to catch the dribble which comes out at all angles, not just straight down.

So sorry Tesco, I like the designs and the price but we ended up giving all our Tesco dribble bibs away to a friend who had a younger, smaller baby.

Boots Dribble Bibs

I bought this pack of dribble bibs from Boots as I absolutely loved the design. My parents will tell you that Lewis spend the majority of his first few months of life decked out in anything that had stars on. These were quite pricey from memory,  think £5.99 for the two. They fasten with velcro which has become a dribble bib pet hate of mine. Babies can pull velcro apart and if the bib gets caught on anything the bib easily comes off. Plus if you have a pet, their hair will inevitably get stuck in the velcro and build up over time, rendering the velcro completely useless. These were slightly bigger than the Tesco bibs but I still found the triangle a little small to contain Lewis spit falls. The biggest problem though was the size around the neck. It wasn't long before these were too tight for Lewis and again got handed down to someone with a more appropriately sized child.

Nuby Dribble Bibs

I was really excited (I know what has my life come to) when I found these bibs in my local Tesco. The triangle was huge and they had a really nice soft felt feel to them. That along with the funky designs made me think we were finally onto a bib winner. At £4.49 for the two they weren't the most expensive but were still on the pricey side. These sadly do have the dreaded velcro attachment but if they lived up to their hype of size and dribble catching ability I could overlook that.

The first time Lewis wore this bib I thought I'd cracked it, found the holy grail of dribble bibs. Had you spoken to me on that day I would have waxed lyrical about the joys of Nuby bibs and all they could offer the world. I was on cloud nine, until, laundry day. These did not wash well. In fact after one wash they were pretty much useless. The design of these bibs is like two triangles of fabric stitched together at the edges but not adhered at all in the middle, meaning that upon washing the two pieces became separated at every point apart from the stitched edges making them look like a mangled mess. Now if you're one of these mythical people that owns an 'iron' this probably won't be an issue for you as you can just iron it back into shape but for me it was a deal breaker. I haven't ironed anything in my life, and I'm not about to start now for the sake of dribble. Sorry Nuby, off to someone more domestically goddess-y than me. 

Next Dribble Bibs

I love Next baby products. I love their clothes, and if there wasn't this little thing called money, Lewis would be decked out in Next pretty much everyday. So of course it was inevitable that at some point I would be trying out their bibs. I've had two packs of Next dribblers; one with a popper fastener and one with velcro fastener. We already know my views on velcro fastening so no need to dwell on that (sort it out though Next!). The size of these bibs is good, great coverage for dribble streams. They have the nice towelling back and come in some really funky designs. The sticker on the bibs claims them to be dribble proof with the top layer being 100% cotton and the bottom layer 80% cotton & 20% polyester. These definitely live up to that claim.

There are three main problems with these bibs though. 1. The price. £7 for three bibs is definitely not sustainable when you have a dribbler like mine. 2. The size around the neck. Again Lewis quickly outgrew these. 3. Another washing issue (that could probably be solved with an iron). After washing it seemed as if the top layer shrunk slightly meaning the bib would curve up at the side and point (see above photo). So unfortunately these too ended up on the pile to be passed onto some other young, naive, non-dribble bib expert mum.


Asda Dribble Bibs

Why it took me so long to try out Asda bibs I'll never know. Not only are they cheap, usually 5 for £3, but they come in some really funky designs. They have the slightly posher ones which have a popper fastener and funky designs, and also a simpler version (pictured above) which have a velcro fastener (grrrr!). The popper fastener style has the most incredibly innovative whilst ridiculously simple feature. It has two poppers! Meaning that you can opt for a smaller tighter size or for a bigger size. Meaning there's no need for the triangle to be tiny to fit little necks. Seriously, other bib manufacturers, take note!

The fastener version of Asda bibs ticks every box for my dribble bib needs;

Big triangle - check
Popper fastener - check
Suitable for little and big necks - check
Funky designs - check
Great value - check
Washes well - check
No iron option - check

Whilst I'm not generally a fan of velcro bibs I have a pack of the plain ones which I tend to use as emergency bibs at home for when we've run out. As we go through around 5-6 dribble bibs a day we do tend to run out!

I'd recommend the Asda bibs to anyone. Lewis wears one everyday and I think we now own around 30 of these bibs. I've given all our other ones away.

So there it is, my rundown of the best (Asda) and worst (Tesco) dribble bibs out there. I'm sure there are other suppliers which I haven't tried, but honestly people just save yourself the turmoil I went through and get down to Asda. Maybe you won't have a dribbler (lucky sod) but if you do you can't go wrong with good old Asda.

Things I said I'd never do as a Parent - Part 1 - Cosleeping

Every new parent will have been given the run down on SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Basically there’s about a million things that if you do them your baby will die. Second hand mattress – your baby will die; baby sleeping on their tummy – your baby will die; had a drink in the evening – your baby will die; co-sleep with your baby – your baby will die, and the list goes on and on.

I’m by no means trying to disparage the research that has been done on SIDS or say that these risk factors are not important to consider. Since the introduction of the ‘Reduce the Risk’ campaign in 1991, deaths attributable to SIDS have dropped from 1,173 in 1991 to approximately 300 per year currently. That is certainly not to be sniffed at, unfortunately what those educating expectant parents on SIDS fail to do is explain the realities of life.

For the first week that Lewis was home he would not sleep any where else except for on my chest. As far as he was concerned he’s just spent a lovely nine months all curled up, nice and warm, in my uterus and the ridiculously over priced moses basket I had bought him just wasn’t up to standard. I spent two nights wide awake holding my baby whilst Rob (husband) fetched me coffee and Red Bull at regular intervals. I had to google if it was OK to drink Red Bull whilst breastfeeding and since I couldn’t find conclusive evidence decided it was probably better than falling asleep holding my baby, whereupon, he would of course inevitably die of SIDS.

It was one late night when Lewis had decided that he would sleep somewhere other than my chest, not in his moses basket mind but rather in the middle of our king size bed, that I sent a message to my antenatal group’s whatsapp saying I had been kicked out of the bed and what should I do now. The response was a unanimous “Get in there with him and get some sleep!”. I of course was petrified at the idea but after a quick google (thank god for google) of safe co-sleeping positions I got in and had what was probably the best night’s sleep I’d had in months.

It wasn’t long before Lewis started to become more comfortable sleeping in his moses basket and I was able to reclaim the bed, but to this day if Lewis is having a particularly difficult night I’ll get into bed with him and snuggle up so we can both get some sleep. In fact holding his hand whilst we sleep together is still one of my most favourite times as a mum.

Co-sleeping isn’t for everyone and there is certainly evidence based research to link it to an increased risk of SIDS, however, there are plenty of safe co-sleeping resources available on the Internet and the reality of life is that at some point you will co-sleep with your baby, I guarantee it. So don’t be like me and panic that you’re going to kill your baby.

If you want more information on ‘Reduce the Risk’/’Back to Sleep’ campaigns The Lullaby Trust is a great resource. For information on safe co-sleeping the NCT website has a good guide but there are loads of resources out there.

The Clue's in the Title

I was never destined to be a supermum, in all honesty at one point I thought I'd probably never be a mum at all. However life finds a way as they say, and here I am, 6 months down the line with what can only be described as the most beautiful little boy in the world.

OK so I'm probably a bit biased and I'm sure every mum thinks their child is the most beautiful in the world, but come on! Look at that face.

Meet Lewis Timothy Preston. Named Lewis as it's the only boy's name my husband and I could agree on and only then because we're huge Lewis Hamilton fans. Named Timothy as a nod to his Poppy (my Dad) and named Preston because that's what my husband lumped us with.

The first 6 months of Lewis' life have been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, frantic midnight googling sessions, tears, laughter, panic and endless photos. Being the not so supermum that I am I've taken alot of solace in reading the wise words of other mums who are not afraid to say it like it is and bare all. It's all too easy to pretend that having children is the most rewarding experience and that it's the best job in the world, however the reality, at least for me, is that at times it's really a bit shit. Night feeds, teething, poo explosions, starting everyday at 5am, it all adds up and makes you question where you went wrong. So I wanted to start this blog, one; in hopes of helping other not so supermums to realise that they are not alone and two; to help me feel a bit better when the shit column is dwarfing the rewarding column.

I hope you enjoy following along with us whilst we try and work out this mumming business.